Sometimes I think too much about strengthening my future but then, I stop for a while. Take a deep breath and ask myself: what was so wrong about my past and what is not enough in my present. Present life never seems enough and satisfying. Is that the order of life we live the present? If so, why worry so much about future that will be present at some point in my life?
There seems to be no good answer to look for. Then, I wonder - is life all about finding an answer to your confusing questions? Am I loosing my mind now?
But isn't answer the one magic word that every aspiring entrepreneur or scientists look for? Why this precious answer always blessed for selected few? Am I frustrated that am not among these blessed few?
But isn't every human are made different from the above? Does that mean every questions have different answers? Then, how could the questions be same for everyone? Oh boy! Am I living in this world?
Who really I am aspiring to be? My past, my future, or my present? Are asking questions same as finding an answer? Oh man! Am I contradicting myself?
But isn't Buddhist suppose to believe in the law of contradictions? Am I more Buddhist with these contradictions?
It seems life is all about questions, answers, and contradictions. That's why life is complicated.
Complication is a complex web of contradictions too. If you know what complications are, why don't you get rid of it? Are we used to accept complications as your fate?
Now, what is fate? Is it the result of my past deed? If yes, past does matters. Then, if past shapes present, what role does the future play? Is future really relevant?
Alas! Am I just stupid to worry about strengthening my future when there is no future?
Note: wrote this piece on the iPhone Note while I was traveling to office on the G train this morning. I kept it original to capture my realtime feeling, emotion, and meaning.